


Apology Necessary

by MochiMinWriting



Category: B.I - Fandom, K-pop, Kim Hanbin - Fandom, ikon
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Betrayal, Drama, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, Lies, Male-Female Friendship, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Relationships, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2020-06-24 20:04:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19730818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochiMinWriting/pseuds/MochiMinWriting
Summary: Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong and the other person is right.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got a request for a fic based off of "So I married an Anti-fan" on Tumblr and this is what came of it ^^
> 
> Repost from my Tumblr @khhunniewriting

There was a knock at your door that had you scrambling to your feet. You opened your front door and smiled brightly at the person on the other side. “Jiyong, what are you doing here?”

“I came to tell you there’s been a change of plans.”

“What do you mean?”

“Youngbae and I…we won’t be doing your song.”

Your heart sunk when you heard this news. “But I wrote that just for you two.””

“I know and I’m sorry.” He hugged you, knowing you never wanted to write a song like that in the first place after your history. “YG said it’s too good to be rushed. Youngbae and I will be enlisting soon and we won’t be able to promote it as much as YG would like.”

The hands that laid flat at your sides quickly turned into fists at the mention of the man who once was your boss. It was flattering to hear he liked your song but you weren’t ready to forget how you suffered at that company. 

“So he’s giving it to B.I.”

You took a step back breaking free of the hug. “What?” you asked, your words barely audible. “He’s giving my song to Hanbin-”

“Y/N please don’t let your personal feelings get in the way.” Jiyong knew you refused to write or even sell your songs to YG artists other than him. He had been your mentor for the short time you were there. 

How could you not though? Three years ago you were a trainee at YG with dreams of singing the songs you created on your own but that dream was killed off thanks to Hanbin. “Jiyong you know what they did to me. I have to hide my face behind a pen name because of what he did to me. He lied to YG and told him we were dating when in reality he was with Lisa.”

“Y/N please-”

“They are all famous now.”

“So are you.” He held your hands in his to make you look at him. “You have thirty-six songs you collect royalties from and much more that you sold to other entertainment companies.”

You sighed, “But I never got to sing any of them.”

After the scandal between you and Hanbin broke out you became a target of hate. Many fans didn’t like you because you were dating him, which you weren’t. “He lied to protect his relationship. I was the disposable one because I didn’t have as much talent as them.”

“You are plenty talented. I should know, I was your mentor after all.”

You smiled, “thanks Jiyong.”

* * *

After seeing the success of your song you became frustrated. Hanbin gained more popularity from your work while you were still hiding from the public behind a fake name. You were like a music note… you could only be heard but never seen unless it was on paper. 

You downed another shot of tequila and turned the television off just as Hanbin’s face became the center point. Looking down at the blank lined paper for only a second before picking up your pen. Before you knew it you were writing a song that dissed Hanbin and Lisa both. Sometimes it was subtle but at the end, it was clear who your punches were meant to land on.

It made you laugh and ultimately made you feel better. You decided it was so good you had to share it with Jiyong. You took pictures of what you wrote since you were too drunk to type it all up and sent it to him. 

The next morning you woke up to hundreds of text messages and missed calls. Some were from Jiyong and others were from unknown callers. Just as you were about to open the texts from Jiyong your screen lit up brightly with his name.

“Hello” you answered the call.

Jiyong could be heard talking to other people before turning his attention to you. “Y/N!”

You grimaced as you pulled the phone away from your ear. “Not so loud Ji, I’ve got a horrible headache. I think I drank last night.” You looked around your bedroom for evidence. “Yeah, I definitely was” you asserted after spotting the tequila bottle on your dresser.

Jiyong facepalmed, “well that explains it.”

“What-”

“Y/N last night you sent a screenshot of a song you wrote to my work phone.”

You remembered the song but he had to be mistaken. “No, I sent it to you on your personal phone because I know all of the staff have access to the conversations on the other phone.”

Jiyong sighed, “that’s very true and that is why we have this problem. YG just fired one of the communications staff because she released a screenshot to the media.”

“What!?” You sat up as worst-case scenarios began playing in your head. “No Jiyong- that song was strictly confidential. I was dissing Hanbin and Lisa-”

“I know-”

His voice was cut off by a single chime of your phone. You removed it from your ear and saw a new message it wasn’t from Jiyong or an unknown caller. No, this time you recognized the number and it belonged to someone you were genuinely scared of. “Ji…”

The way you lightly whispered his name stopped his rambling. “What’s wrong?”

“I got a text from YG.”

* * *

**F/N (fake name) you can make up a pen name for yourself to use when you see this ^^**

YG cleared his throat, the last time you had been in his office he had let you go and now here he was trying to get you back on board. “Y/N you have always been talented. There is no doubt about that.“

Relief washed over you when you heard this. You held your head a bit higher as you gained the confidence to speak. “I don’t think you called me here to talk about my talent.”

“In a way I did.” He leaned forward as he looked through some documents he had prepared beforehand. “I’m willing to overlook this whole situation and solve this problem between us. What would you say about being on ‘We Got Married’ with Hanbin?”

“Eh?” your left brow rose on its own as you were taken aback by his question. How could he so calmly ask you to be on a show with the person you hated most? “Why would you even ask me to do this?”

“It’s that or getting sued for defamation of character.” He lifted a sheet of paper that was actually a copy of your song. “This is all I need to sue you for damaging the images of two of my stars.”

You knew what was at stake. “Besides, how can I be on a show like that with Hanbin? I’m not even an idol.”

“We’ll be using your fake name of course. You will be on the show as F/N, the songwriter not Y/N the ex-YG artist.”

“Either way what do you expect from me going on the show with him? Right now everyone knows what I think of him because of that song.”

YG nodded in agreement. “Have you ever seen that movie ‘So I Married an Anti-Fan? Two people who once hated each other can make up. I want you to make up with Hanbin and apologize to him on the show.”

“What!” You shot up out of your seat. “You’re trying to humiliate me and get a public apology at the same time?”

“That or get sued.” He sat back waiting for your answer.

You bit your lip feeling pressured into making a deal with the devil. “Fine, I’ll do it.” You sighed deeply knowing this was all going to end badly for you anyway but you weren’t done fighting for yourself. “What about what you did to me? By now I’m sure you know it was Lisa who was dating Hanbin.”

“I do and I’m truly sorry Y/N but the entertainment industry is all about appearances. There were just too many pictures of you and Hanbin together and none of Lisa.” YG did regret ending your training once he found out the truth. “When Jiyong told me you were F/N I realized my gut was right about your talents.”

It was not much comfort but at least it was something. “I’ll be going then.” Stepping out of YG’s office you made a quick dash through the halls. You walked but you walked fast, not wanting to see any familiar faces.

“Y/N!”

You turned towards the voice with a smile. Maybe there was one exception, “Jiyong.” Without thinking you hugged him feeling overwhelmed by everything. “Oh my god, Jiyong it was horrible.”

Jiyong gave you a reassuring hug and comforted you. “What happened?”

“So many things.” 

“You can tell me.”

“If you walk me out of here I’ll tell you.” You needed a friend who would listen to your problems and Jiyong was always willing to be that friend. You explained everything to him as he took you to the main entrance. 

In the distance, Hanbin froze as he felt his eyes were playing a trick on him when he saw you. He stood there and watched as Jiyong gave you one last hug and walked away. That’s when he got a clear look at you and realized it really was you. He quickly made his way over to you. “Y/N?”

His voice stopped you from pulling open the door. Looking back at him you couldn’t hide your anger. Your face showed annoyance, “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

“I’d rather not talk to you unless it’s necessary.” You turned to leave but he held onto your arm. You quickly pulled back not wanting him near you. “If you want me to apologize you’ll have to wait because I’m only doing it once.”

“Y/N I-”

You put your hand up to stop him. “It’s F/N now.” With that, you left. You knew you would have to talk to him and act like a couple but only for the show. You promised yourself only to talk with him when cameras were around. Off camera, you would continue to hate him like you had up until now.


	2. Chapter 2

The lights and cameras were aimed at you as the producer began the first interview. “What are the qualities you are looking for in a husband?”

Oh how you desperately wanted to shout ‘anyone but Kim Hanbin’, that wasn’t an option though. You looked off to the side as if you were deep in thought contemplating the desirable qualities. “I want someone understanding, someone who listens well and trusts me no matter what.”

“What qualities are you looking for in a wife?”

Hanbin’s eyes darted over to you as you watched with crossed arms from behind the cameras. He was feeling a bit nervous with you watching. “Someone understanding would be nice. Because I’m so busy I would like my wife to someone who can energize me with her smile.”

You rolled your eyes at his response. There was no way you would voluntarily smile at him. 

The producer wrapped up the interview and the staff began moving the equipment. “Okay, let’s get going to the cafe. F/N and Hanbin you will ride in the second van.” He caught one of the staff members and sent her your way. “Please take them to their van.”

“Sure,” she offered a smile before pointing you in the direction of the exit. “This way please.” You followed her and Hanbin followed you. She opened the van allowing you to enter first. “I hope you two don’t mind the wait. We still have to pack up a few things.”

“Not at all,” you gave her a gentle smile to show your sincerity and understanding.

“Take your time,” Hanbin let her know that he too didn’t mind waiting. After dismissing herself Hanbin closed the van door and turned to you. The gentle smile was gone and in its place stood an icy glare. It only lasted a second because you turned away from him and looked out your window.

“Y/N do you-”

“There aren’t any cameras.”

“So?”

“You don’t have to talk to me.” You turned your attention to your aching feet. The uncomfortable shoes you were given to wear were starting to take a toll on you even though you hadn’t walked much. Bending down to undo the straps you couldn’t help but hiss, “Stupid shoes.“

“What if I want to talk to you?”

“Then don’t.” The atmosphere was strange. There were hesitation and hostility but there was also an air about you two that spoke of familiarity. That was because of your history. Before he got you kicked out of YG Hanbin was actually a very good friend of yours. That’s why his betrayal hurt you so badly to the point where you couldn’t stand talking to him. It made your insides boil with anger and sadness. 

“You and Jiyong seem close…” He turned away as soon as the words left his lips. It was something that had been on his mind for a while now. Ever since he learned he was taking over the song you had written for Jiyong. 

If there was one thing you hated most in the world it was misunderstandings. You knew the extent of their damage. Despite not wanting to talk to him you felt obligated to inform him, “Jiyong is a very good friend.” You threw your femininity out the window and full out took your shoes off to relieve yourself of the pain. “After YG kicked me out I gave up. Jiyong came to the shop I was working at and encouraged me to quit my normal job. He wanted me to keep working on music and even let some of my songs come to life.”

Hanbin was amazed by everything Jiyong had done for you. While he was left in the dark all these years. “I never knew you had quit music.”

“Why would you? You and I are no longer even acquaintances.” If looks could kill Hanbin would be dead now. The look in your eyes was no joke. “Jiyong is a good friend so don’t go and ruin our friendship with false rumors like you did before.”

“Y/N I’ve been trying to tell you all this time that I didn’t tell YG anything.!”

You shook your head, “When will you stop lying?”

“I’m not!”

“Hanbin we were best friends!” You swallowed the lump in your throat and finally let it all out. “We were best friends but you never told me you and Lisa were dating. Then you used me as a cover-up.”

“I never-” Hanbin became silent as the driver entered the car. “Sorry for the wait, we will get going now.”

“That’s okay” you quickly rid yourself of any sign that you had been on brink of tears. The ride from then on was filled with silence. Neither of you had anything to say that would relieve the intensity of the past memories. 

* * *

Once you got to the location Hanbin stepped out first and offered you his hand to take so you could get down easier but you ignored it. You walked past him and got back to business. 

“Okay F/N” the director guided you towards one of the cafe’s tables and sat you down. “With the current situation between you two and that diss song we think it is best for you to play hard to get. Act like you don’t like Hanbin but every once in a while give a sense of hope.”

You inhaled and exhaled deeply, there it was. You always knew these shows were fake but you didn’t expect them to pick a personality for you.

“Can you do that?” he asked.

You nodded, “let’s get this over with.”

Hanbin joined in the small huddle between you two to hear what the director wanted him to do. “Hanbin you are going to play the nice guy. Despite everything F/N has said you will try to get her to change her mind.”

Hanbin nodded, that is what he wanted most. He wanted to show you that he wasn’t a bad guy. He needed you to forgive him and understand that he hadn’t said a word about you.

You rolled your eyes, of course, he would play the nice guy. How typical, YG wanted Hanbin to come off good while you were forced to be hated by the audience. 

“Alright then, Hanbin please come to the entrance.”

You closed your eyes to rid yourself of all bad thoughts. There was nothing Hanbin could do to make you forget the pain of losing your future, the pain of being ridiculed by the media, the fans, and the pain of being stabbed in the back by a friend. Your thoughts had you spacing out. You never realized the cameras were already rolling and jumped when you felt his arms envelop you.

Hanbin towered over you from behind as he wrapped his arms around you. 

This was so sudden that your heart skipped a beat. Your eyes widened as you looked back and quickly moved out of his hold. “It’s you?” you pretended not to know it was him since this was supposed to be your first meeting.

“I know you hate me but hate can easily turn into love.” Hanbin got down on one knee in front of you causing the staff to gasp. “F/N will you marry me?”

The director quickly motioned for cameras to get a closer look. “I want a shot from every angle!” he whisper-shouted. This was too soon but it would get great ratings.

* * *

“The birth of the Anti-Couple…” you couldn’t believe all the crap that was being written after the first episode. Article after article you could only see positive remarks. You expected people to see through it and notice how fake it was but there were already fans of the anti-fan turned lover cliche this season had to offer. 

> _We have finally gotten our answer to who would be in the new season of We Got Married. Kim Hanbin of popular YG boy group IKON had been speculated from the very beginning but no one was prepared to find out that his wife would be songwriter F/N. There is documented evidence where she has given her opinion of Hanbin and fellow YG artist, Lisa._
> 
> _No one knows exactly why the songwriter has taken to hating these two. There have been rumors stating that the two had criticized her music, others say they turned down her songs, and there has even been talk of a real life love scandal._

“What!” you began to panic wondering if your cover was blown. If anyone looked closely you were sure they would notice who you were. You scrolled past the rest of the article and made your way to the comments where fans were pouring in their thoughts.

> _Didn’t B.I’s last song give credit to F/N as the writer?_

> _I heard she is friends with Jiyong._

> _Girls are viscious, maybe she’s just jealous of Lisa._

“As if!” you shouted at your phone.

> _Hanbin must be an old boyfriend._

“NEVER!”

> _I think it is strictly a professional fight. Something to do with music credit? Maybe? We really shouldn’t guess. It could be damaging to their reputations._

“This girl has some sense,” you were proud to see there were at least some people out there who didn’t jump to conclusions.

> _Didn’t one of BlackPink’s songs seem like F/N’s style? Maybe they stole the rights from her?_

Realizing it wasn’t good for your sanity to keep going you stopped and looked over at the television as it currently played the first episode of the show. You hated how things were playing out but what could you do? Doing all these unnecessary things was a bother.

It left you wanting to talk to a friend but sadly Jiyong was gone. He had enlisted and you no longer had the luxury of running to him with your problems. 

As you watched you realized it seemed you and Hanbin actually got along. You knew it was because of the conversation in the van. You had let him get to you when he kept talking to you and calling you by your name. You needed to make sure he knew that you had in no way forgiven or forgotten the past. 

* * *

Hanbin watched from afar as you did your final interview for the second episode. He had done his the day before because of his busy scheduling. The whole time the cameras were rolling he saw a smile on your face. That day you two had filmed your wedding and moving into your shared home. He was having a good time despite the way you would roll your eyes and glare at him. It almost felt like you two were friends again. 

“Okay, F/N that is all for today.”

With that, you politely excused yourself from the set and made your way to the exit. You pushed the door open expecting to hear it click behind you when it closed but you never heard it because someone followed you. Looking over your shoulder you saw Hanbin and sighed. You walked faster ignoring him but Hanbin wasn’t easily ignored. It was hard to sit there pretending like what you were saying was truly how you felt.

“Y/N wait!”

You stopped as you heard him call you by your name. “Are you stupid or something?” After reading the articles there was a strong sense of worry when using your real name. You felt your past would catch up with you and you’d be swarmed by all the hate mail once again.

Hanbin was glad you stopped because now he was able to catch up to you. “Sorry, I just wanted to talk with you.”

“I have nothing to say to you.” You looked around fearing cameras or fans who would recognize him. 

“But I do.” He noticed your actions and realized what you were doing. The middle of the parking lot wasn’t the safest place to be having a conversation. “If you want we can talk at home.”

“I’m not going there.” From now on you were to live in that house with Hanbin a few times out of the week so they could get material for the show. You went along with it earlier but now you were seriously considering letting YG sue you. “I’m going to YG and ending this.”

“What do you mean?” Hanbin was confused. 

“I’m going to face the consequences of my actions and take responsibility for what I wrote. I don’t want to be a liar like you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Three Years Ago**

Hanbin snuck up on you as you walked into the YG building and wrapped his arms around you in a back hug. “Got you!”

“Wah!” you flinched startled by the sudden attack. Your legs gave out and you fell to the ground as soon as Hanbin let go along with the notebook you had been holding. You were in a fit of laughter and curses as you realized it was Hanbin who had scared you. “Why? Why do you always do this to me?” You playfully held your hand over your heart feigning pain. “One day I’ll have a real heart attack.”

Hanbin laughed as he took hold of your free hand and helped you back up. “It’s so easy to scare you and your reactions are so-” he couldn’t finish his sentence before another wave of laughter hit him. 

“You’re evil!”

He picked your notebook up off the ground and handed it to you. “I’m sorry I just couldn’t help it. What were you staring so intently at?”

You opened your notebook to a particular page and showed Hanbin the handwritten lyrics you had just finished. “I wrote something and I want Jiyong to tell me what he thinks.”

Hanbin leaned in beside you to read what you had written. “You wrote another song, so quickly?” 

You nodded with a smile. “I’m hoping I can get one on our debut album.” Although you didn’t know how far away your debut was you were always preparing for it as if it were that week. 

“You will,” Jiyong approached you as he heard your last statement. He was on his way out with the other members but stopped when he saw you. 

“Jiyong,” you gasped with a smile as you saw your idol turned mentor in front of you. You felt so blessed that he was the one who took an interest in your talent and volunteered to mentor you. For a long time, you had looked up to him and admired his musical abilities.

Hanbin saw the sparkle in your eyes when you looked up at Jiyong.

“Were you coming to see me?”

You nodded, seeing how the rest of Big Bang was there you realized he was busy. “But it can wait. I’ll come back another time.”

Jiyong lips curved up into a slight smile knowing you were eager and ambitious. “I’ll be back later tonight. You can see me then.”

“Okay!” you immediately agreed.

“See you later then,” he glanced over at Hanbin and said goodbye to him as well before rejoining with the others and leaving.

Knowing you had nothing to do now, Hanbin took the opportunity and dragged you along with him. “Now that you’re free you can come watch me practice.”

“Alright but if Bobby starts picking on me again…”

“He won’t, I talked to him so just come with me.”

When he opened the practice room door Hanbin found the rest of the guys had already begun without him. Jinhwan turned the music off when he saw Hanbin peaking through the door, “You’re late.”

“Sorry, I ran into someone,” Hanbin fully opened the door bringing your presence to their attention.

“Hi guys,” you greeted them with a smile. 

The guys looked at each other with knowing smiles. “So that’s why you’re late…” Bobby gave Hanbin a sly smile. 

You knew what it meant and immediately gave Hanbin a look of your own. One that told him he should stop Bobby before you were put into an uncomfortable position.

“Y/N needs to kill some time while she waits for Jiyong hyung to come back so I invited her to come and watch.” After leaving you to take a seat at the back of the room Hanbin pulled Bobby aside. “Listen Y/N doesn’t like when you play around with our relationship. We’re just friends.”

“You sure about that?” Bobby knew Hanbin had romantic feelings for you. Even if he never admitted it, he could tell by the way he spoke about you. The two of you were almost always together and if not then you were constantly texting each other. 

“Yes, so please stop.” Hanbin didn’t like being asked about it because it made him more aware of how unique your friendship was. It was true you two were so close you could be mistaken for lovers but he already had someone else.

He was in a secret relationship.

* * *

Lisa crossed her arms over her chest as she watched you and Hanbin walk out of YG. Both of you were laughing and smiling which only irritated her more. 

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked.

“Nothing,” Lisa smiled as she tried to brush it off. She walked away to where no one could see her. She knew she had to keep it all a secret but she couldn’t stand being left alone in the shadows.

> _**Lisa:** Baby, I just finished practice so we can go have lunch like we planned._

> _**Hanbin:** Sorry, I forgot and left already. Can we do it tomorrow?_

> _**Lisa:** You must be busy. What are you up to?_

Hanbin struggled to respond to Lisa’s message as he followed you into the cafe. After practice, there was still time left until Jiyong would return from his busy schedule so he offered to take you out for coffee. He had completely forgotten about Lisa.

> _**Hanbin:** I’m with a friend._

> _**Lisa:** What friend?_

When you turned around you noticed Hanbin had stayed behind. “Something wrong?" 

He shook his head and shoved his phone in his pocket, “It’s nothing.” It was hard keeping secrets from you but even harder to stay away from you. Hanbin and Lisa had gotten into a fight before when she got jealous of you.

You inched your face close to his making direct eye contact. It seemed like you two were going to kiss. But that’s not what this was. You were trying to intimidate him and get the truth. If he pulled away you knew he was lying. Your eyes moved from side to side as you scanned for any indication of his lies. 

Hanbin held his breath, finding it hard to breath when you were so close. He turned his head when he couldn’t take it anymore. His heart beat like crazy as his lungs tried to catch up and get the air they so desperately needed.

When he broke eye contact and backed away you knew you had him. “Lies!” It hurt you to think there was something Hanbin couldn’t tell you. “I’m not going to make you tell me but I hope you know I’m here for you whenever you want to talk.”

“Thanks Y/N,” the guilt was unbearable when you didn’t know what you were guilty about in the first place. He valued his friendship and his relationship equally. He knew he couldn’t lie to both of you.

“No problem, let’s go order.” 

> _**Hanbin:** I’m with Y/N_

* * *

“What is this?”

You bit your lip feeling unable to respond. 

“Y/N is this you in the picture?” YG asked.

“Yes Sir but it’s not what you think-”

“Y/N there is no need for your excuses. I have already talked with Hanbin.” 

You felt relieved to hear that. You knew you could count on Hanbin to straighten things out. “Did he tell you?” YG nodded but his expression told you he wasn’t done.

After a picture of you and Hanbin popped up all over the internet YG immediately contacted Hanbin; now it was your turn. “Y/N you are a very talented girl. Your voice and your songs are all evidence of that. I had high hopes for you.”

“Had?” your head shot up at the word.

“Y/N I’m afraid I have to let you go. You can no longer train here after violating one of the most important rules.” It really hurt YG to let such talent walk out of his office but he knew your image was done for. All the comments towards you were negative. If her were to ever debut you in a group then that group would surely have a hard time gaining a following.

“What rule did I break?” You held back tears as your dream was being trampled on. “Hanbin and I, we’re just friends.”

“Hanbin confirmed the relationship.”

“What?” Your shoulders fell in defeat, this was too much for you to handle. 

* * *

Hanbin wore a cap, mask, and sunglasses to hide from the reporters who were crowding around YG. He rushed inside ignoring the constant flashes of light from their cameras. He made his way through the halls trying to get to YG’s office as quickly as possible. That’s when he saw you… “Y/N.”

There was no way you wanted to talk to him. In fact, you didn’t even want to see him. With no hesitation whatsoever you took a sharp turn to the right opting to go down the stairs instead of the elevator he was currently blocking. 

He didn’t know what to do now. He needed to tell YG the truth but he knew if he didn’t chase you now then he would never get the chance to explain. It wasn’t him who told YG those lies about your relationship, it was Lisa. She had used his cellphone to text YG. “Y/N!” Hanbin called out your name several times as he followed you.

When you got to the bottom you felt your body jerk back as Hanbin pulled you by the arm. “Let go of me!” You freed yourself from his grip but at the same time caught the attention of staff and fellow trainees were all around you. You inhaled sharply as you noticed the judgmental glances. Their whispers might as well have been screams because you knew what they were saying. 

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin apologized after seeing you massage the part of your arm he had held. He didn’t mean to hurt you. “Just let me explain-”

“Why did you lie?” You told yourself you didn’t want to talk to him yet the question slipped out. It was hard to believe he would make up such a huge lie for no reason.

“I’m dating Lisa… for the past six months now.”

Your eyes widened in shock; this wasn’t the answer you were expecting. Not once did you think Hanbin was in a relationship. It was even more shocking that it was another trainee of the company.

“They sent YG multiple pictures. Most of them are of you and me from when we hung out around the city but one was with Lisa. You can’t see her face at all but we were kissing. There was no way I could deny being in a relationship.”

His words pierced through you like a knife. The expression of being backstabbed by a friend took on a literal meaning for you. “So you lied and said it was me?” as soon as the last word was spoken you felt warm tears pool at the corners of your eyes. When it came down to choosing between his girlfriend of six months and best friend of over two years he had figured you were the expendable one. 

“I didn’t want to choose but Lisa-”

“Stop, I can’t listen to this anymore. I don’t know who you are anymore.” Who was this person standing before you? Hanbin was showing a whole different side of himself. You couldn’t stand it anymore and walked away.

Hanbin wanted to stop you but Jiyong ran past him. Being your mentor meant he was informed about your being let go from YG himself. “Y/N!”

You immediately stopped and turned to face Jiyong. There was no helping your tears, you angrily wiped them away before bowing your head deeply to apologize for not living up to your mentor’s expectations. “I’m sorry I failed.” Those were your last words to Jiyong before running out of the building. 

Jiyong was full of concern after hearing about the situation. He couldn’t let talent like yours be lost. 

* * *

**Present**

As you searched the building for YG you ended up finding someone else. Lisa smiled but to you, it seemed more like a mocking smirk. She was just as guilty as Hanbin was for what happened to you but you never bothered to act out against her besides the one song that got you into your current predicament.

Lisa chuckled as she looked you up and down closely. “It really is you. I didn’t recognize you at first but you’re Y/N, right? When they kept calling you F/N I was confused but it’s you.” You had grown out and dyed your hair even changed your style but she could tell it was you.

YG appeared from behind her putting his hand on her shoulder to urge her to do as he had asked her.

Lisa sighed, she hated that she had to do this. “I’m sorry…”

“What?” your brow furrowed as you shifted the weight of your body to the other side and placed your hands on your hips. Were you really getting an apology from Lisa right now? It was clear she didn’t mean it but still.

“I said I’m sorry, okay!” Lisa groaned. She had no desire to apologize to you when she felt she had done nothing wrong. “Can I go now?” she asked YG.

“Tell her what you are sorry for.”

“I’m sorry you took the fall for me. Hanbin wasn’t the one who lied. He wasn’t the one who told YG that you two were dating, it was me.” It all sounded so insincere because it was. That time she had panicked as she felt her career was over before it had a chance to begin, not to mention how jealous she was of the time you spent with Hanbin. That’s why she lied and said you two were together. Lisa was lucky Hanbin loved her so much back then because he went along with her story and didn’t stand up for you. “Now can I go?”

YG nodded letting her return to her practice leaving only the two of you. “I know it’s unfair for only you to apologize.”

You nodded, a blank expression on your face. “It is, yet…I don’t know why you’re so fixated on an apology.” It wasn’t like your apology would erase the memory of your diss from the people who saw it. Just like Lisa’s apology wasn’t going to heal your wounds. “I don’t feel any different.”

YG figured there was nothing he or Lisa could say to make you feel better. That’s why he had her apologize in the first place. “Maybe it’s because Lisa isn’t the person you want an apology from.” The person you had to listen to was Hanbin.


	4. Chapter 4

After the last time, Hanbin didn’t know what to expect when he got back to filming. Part of him thought you would quit and the Anti-Couple would be no more. That’s why he was shocked to see you waiting for him inside his dressing room.

When you saw Hanbin freeze at the door you knew you would have to be the first to speak. “Hi…” your greeting was strange and awkward perfectly reflecting how you felt at the moment.

“Hey…” he responded just as awkwardly. 

“The other day I… I talked to YG…” You looked down at your hands as you pulled on the end of your sleeves. Talking to Hanbin normally was harder than you thought it would be. 

Hanbin was still too shocked to act on the opportunity that had presented itself. You were finally acknowledging his presence outside of filming. You had come to him, looked for him, and even waited for him in his dressing room! He had been hoping for a small window of opportunity when you would allow him to speak his mind. Now here it was and he couldn’t say a thing. 

“…and Lisa.”

“What?” Hanbin finally took a few steps closer. A thousand bad thoughts entered his mind when you mentioned his ex. “Why did you want to talk to her?”

“I didn’t but YG wanted to make a point.” After your conversation with YG, you went home with a lot of things on your mind. “What would it take to make the pain go away? That’s what he wanted me to know… I’ll never get over it unless we both say what we wanted to say three years ago.”

Relief washed over him, “I agree.” Every time he tried to talk to you he was ignored, you wouldn’t even look at him. You were finally giving him a chance to talk and he would take it. 

The director’s assistant knocked once before entering in a panic. “Hanbin we can’t find Y/N have you seen-” she stopped when she saw you. “There you are, hope you two weren’t fighting.”

“Just a little,” you joked knowing it was best for her to think that rather than something else.

“We need you to get to the house before Hanbin, the van is waiting outside.”

“I’ll be right there,” you assured her. Once she was out of earshot you went back to your current task. “Can we talk…” you hesitated. You knew today’s filming would end late into the night so there was a good chance he was free but you didn’t want to assume anything. “Maybe after filming ends?” 

Hanbin immediately nodded, nothing would make him miss this opportunity. “Yeah, of course.” 

* * *

Hanbin stared at you expectantly, a timid smile plastered on his face. The filming had gone exceptionally well. Many of the staff had commented on how much more natural your relationship on-screen had looked. He looked down at the table where his coffee stood as his only distraction from your stare. 

The silence between you two was uncomfortable but necessary. As you sat back, crossed arms on the table, you thought of what it is you wanted- no- needed to hear form Hanbin. The longer you thought the harder you stared at the idol before you. “Why didn’t you stand up for me?”

“Wha-” his mind had nervously wandered off nearly missing the question.

“When Lisa lied to YG about us dating…” your brow furrowed trying to eloquently form your question but it was just too much for you to say in one breath. “During the whole scandal, you must have had plenty of chances to stop the lies. Why didn’t you?” Again you repeated the most daunting question, “Why didn’t you stand up for me?”

Immediately you felt lighter, your shoulders relaxed and fell making you feel as if you were resting for the first time in years. 

Hanbin was the exact opposite. Before his eyes could do nothing but rest on you and now he could hardly turn in your direction. “I ask myself the same question to this day.”

Of course, he knew the right thing to do back then was to immediately stop the rumor mill. He should have confessed to YG that Lisa was his girlfriend, not you. The people who deserved to lose their careers, their futures, were him and Lisa. Licking his lips he worked up the courage to offer insight into his mind. “At one point I kept saying it was because I loved Lisa too much or that I was just too selfish to risk my own career.”

“So you sat back and watched me burn?” you asked incredulously. For some reason, anger was no longer your dominant emotion. It was pity, resent, and remorse. “All I ever tried to do was live an honest, drama-free life.” Your hands uncrossed, your dominant hand laid flat on the table as you pointed out your life plan . “I kept my social circle small, focused on my future, and stayed out of trouble. My greatest mistake was believing you were my friend.” 

“Y/N I’m sorry. I really was your friend.”

You nodded, “until it became inconvenient for you.” The things he did to you were unforgivable. Never would you have caused so much chaos to an innocent bystander. “I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt our friendship.”

Hanbin shook his head. There was never a time like that.

But it was the only explanation for you. “At some point, I must have done something that caused you to think I was less than Lisa, less than you.”

“I was stupid.” Hanbin reached out to place his hand on top of yours. He needed you to understand how badly everything got taken out of proportion. 

You nodded in agreement. His hand felt warm against yours but it hardly did anything to melt the iciness of your heart. “I realized something after Lisa and YG apologized to me.”

It was true, you wanted to hear Hanbin apologize. You wanted to see him struggle to admit he had been in the wrong. To face you with the same confidence he stood on stage with knowing he had stolen your chance of doing the same. It wasn’t revenge, it was retribution. 

With the calmest of demeanors, you placed your other hand on top of his. Now you cradled his hand in both of yours and genuinely smiled at him. With a sigh, you confessed to him, “I hate you Hanbin.” 

The tears finally spilled over. Their appearance had been long overdue. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but physical wounds heal… but words lay dormant causing emotional wounds that are carried for a lifetime.”

This was not the way Hanbin envisioned the conversation going. For so long he thought if you only gave him a chance, he would surely gain your friendship back.

“Y/N I know I hurt you but you can’t honestly mean that.”

“I can and I do. Hanbin you used me just as much as Lisa did… and for that I hate you.”

The barista came over to apologize and remind you both that the cafe would be closing soon. Thankfully she was older and didn’t recognize either of you. 

WIth a courteous smile, you acknowledged her reminder. “Thank you, we will be going now.” 

The two of you silently walked out- one feeling lighter than when she first entered and the other carried a heavier burden. 

“Y/N,” he called out to you.

“We’re done talking Hanbin.” There was nothing left to say. “I will continue with the show like I promised YG so you don’t have to worry about that. And as soon as filming is over I will go back to my life of seclusion. It will be hard to do that here with all your fans so I’ll move.”

Hanbin bit down his tongue to keep from saying anything else. 

“I hope all your success was worth my pain.”

_It wasn’t._


End file.
